We at Gage H Designs are pleased to announce the groundbreaking, revolutionary next step in NFT art:
The GHD Exclusive Physical nft
The NFT landscape has finally evolved.
It's a widely known fact that traditional NFTs are outdated half-measures that barely scratch the surface of their own grandiose potential. But with a few small tweaks to the tired, basic premise of the NFT, we can achieve something remarkable, very original, and legendary.
That's where the GHD Exclusive Physical NFT comes in.
Right Click, 2021
Digital art, 8 x 10 inches
What makes it different?
1. The GHD Exclusive Physical NFT comes with an exclusive, limited run print that exists in the non-digital physical plane that we call home. Upon your purchase, GHD will manufacture and ship a signed and numbered print directly to your residence as physical proof of your NFT purchase, along with a document claiming that you own the NFT and print. Only 30 prints will ever be made.
2. The GHD Exclusive Physical NFT is the very first NFT to exist completely outside the confines of the blockchain and minting marketplace. This means that you can purchase this NFT using your country's standard currency (slightly more real and stable than crypto), don't have to visit an NFT marketplace, and don't have to support a market that uses energy levels on the scale of a small country to sell empty gambling tokens to Joe Rogan listeners.
3. Owners of the GHD Exclusive Physical NFT get my express permission to resell the limited run print on the physical free market for any price without paying me a percentage of royalties. This way, your financially sound decision to buy this reasonably priced NFT is rewarded if you choose to resell for a significant markup.
4. Access to an exclusive web address and entry password where GHD Exclusive Physical NFT Owners can view and download the art file in-browser as many times as they would like. And because of the actual, literal, real exclusivity of the limited run print, distribution of the file online does not effect the exclusivity of your purchase! Feel free to download, share, and encourage right-click downloading of the piece.
As you can see, this very new and very original type of art sale offers far more benefits than traditional, outdated, non-physical NFTs
(Because you've bought an actual thing)
• If my website's domain, my website host, or the internet in general ceases to exist at any time in the future, you will lose access to parts of The GHD Exclusive Physical NFT as well as a portion of your purchase's validity. However, since this is also the case for traditional outdated NFTs, and the fact that you will receive the actual product in the physical world that we live in, your purchase of The GHD Exclusive Physical NFT will continue to be a better financial choice than the half-measure that is traditional NFTs.
• If you would like this transaction to be more in line with a traditional NFT's energy consumption, you may opt to purchase a second home, fill it with standard utilities, and run the appliances inside intermittently for one and one half days (or until you use approximately 48 kilowatt hours of power). Please display your exclusive physical print prominently inside the second home so that you are wasting energy for my art.
• If you would like to use this NFT to launder money, you may opt to amend the previous suggestion to purchase a car wash. You have my permission to utilize this car wash as a front to launder your money as long as you display your exclusive physical print prominently somewhere on the premises. This is satire.
• If you would like to feel the same sense of vague shame and aimless regret that comes with purchasing a traditional NFT, please contact me immediately. I will personally send you a short recorded video of a group of artists laughing at you and your decision.